CleverKnicKers

No means No message at Slutwalk March London

admin — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 08:41:37 +0000

Men in hard hats paused from digging up Piccadilly to watch in stunned silence as the provocative procession marched past.
But they would not have dared to wolf whistle as women in stockings, bras and basques passed, clutching banners with statements like “cleavage is not consent”.
The women were among the up to 5,000 people organisers say took part in the UK’s latest Slutwalk in London on Saturday.
The protest movement was sparked by a Canadian policeman who advised students to “avoid dressing like sluts” to avoid being victimised.
Since then, thousands of people worldwide have taken to the streets to highlight a culture in which they say the victim, rather than the abuser, is blamed.
Whether wearing four-inch heels with “slut” painted on their chests, or jeans and trainers, the marchers were united in their message.
Chants of “blame the rapist not the victim, doesn’t matter what I’m dressed in” rang out above the roar of traffic.
“Our culture needs to change – teach people not to rape, not how not to be raped,” says 21-year-old student Rhiannon Frame.
Double standards
Some marchers said they knew victims of sex assaults, while others had experienced casual abuse from men who assumed their outfits made them fair game.
“If you go to a club you can be grabbed on the behind three times in an evening by a bloke who thinks it’s ok because you’re wearing a short skirt. There’s an assumption it’s flattering,” Sophie Durham, 23, said.
Some said women experience double standards in which they are under pressure to look sexy, but are also expected to live chaste lives.
“There’s a culture in which women are expected to put out but if they do, they’re sluts. Women call other women sluts,” Philippa Dunjay, 23 said.
While the march was sparked by attitudes across the Atlantic, marchers said recent comments on rape by Justice Secretary Ken Clarke plus the low conviction rate meant the issue was relevant in the UK.
Mr Clarke was forced to apologise after appearing to suggest some rapes were not as serious as others during a BBC interview on sentencing.
Hannah McQuarrie, 25, said: “His comments were wrong. Any assault which invades someone’s privacy or takes away the rights of their body is wrong.”
Gemma Bell, 35, said she once served on a jury in a rape trial in which the behaviour and dress of the victim was raised by the defence – a move which was just taken for granted at the time.
“There was a suggestion the victim was in some way responsible, it was used as an expression of fault,” she said.
‘Feminism is cool’
While there were placards and leaflets by groups such as the Socialist Workers’ Party and the London Feminist Network, many present were on their first-ever march.
And some feel the outpouring of protest could mark a new chapter in the feminist movement which has not always been viewed positively by young women.
The organiser of the London event was a 17-year-old sixth former, Anastasia Richardson.

Read the full article from its original source http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-13739876

CleverKnicKers supports the awareness brought forth by this march, but there is still a debate of whether No always means No.

For a sex worker consent is often in the form of money. If money is then failed to be paid, does the sex that was prior now become a rape case?

If a woman were to consent to a man pushing his fingers inside her, encourage an erection with her hands, straddle him- but then say NO…does that make it rape when he pushes her down over his erection?

Thankfully the whole issue of rape became a talking point especially after the UK formally made rape a crime within marriage in the early nineties.

Women cried No means No! Marilyn French’s assertion that all men are potential rapists was repeated and discussed openly, and people began to examine their often unconscious judgments that a woman was “asking for it” if she wasn’t dressed appropriately.

Men really did take a beating about rape at that time. Giving up the “right” to be able to rape their wives seemed reasonable, but being branded a potential rapist just because of their gender seemed harder to swallow.

Psychologists concluded that rape was actually about power. That women who fantasised about rape did not actually want to be raped, and that rape was far more likely to occur between people who know each other (95%+ of all rapes).

This overdue national conversation about rape was very important in shaping the lives of women growing up in that time. Many of our CleverKnicKers clients were brought up in this post rape is OK era.

Yet there remains a contradictory issue here. If women can wear what they want, behave how they want, anytime they want and can not be held at all accountable on any level, that men, even sexually aroused (and teased) men are to blame, then aren’t we asking for the authority figures in the women’s lives to take a firmer approach and curb the behaviour?

Few rapes are anonymous, the snatched off the street and battered and bruised cases that movie makers and TV dramas love. Most rapes

Charlie Sheen is all for it…but what IS Polyamory?

admin — Sun, 05 Jun 2011 22:32:10 +0000

There is this word buzzing about….quite hard to pronounce and not to be confused with polygamy (being married to more than one person at a time).
Poly-Amory however has nothing to do with marriage per se, and not much to do with sex either. Poly meaning “more than one” and “amor” from the French word “amour” which means love. Click on the “read more” button below the image to read the article…..We at CKS have found this following article that we would like to reprint here.
Full credit going to it’s author Dr Tory Clark and a link provided at the bottom of this article.
Imagine this: King Arthur takes Guinevere as his Queen. Later, when
Guinevere takes a liking to one of Arthur’s ravishing young knights, Sir
Lancelot, she and Arthur invite him into a relationship in which they share
Guinevere’s companionship. The three have a meeting at the Round Table and
propose a set of ground rules by which they all must strictly adhere to. Arthur
gets to spend quality time with her on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Lancelot
spends time with her on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. On Sunday, half the
day is spent with King Arthur and the other half with Lancelot. Both men are
entitled to have sexual relations with Guinevere and it is forbidden for either
of the men to encroach upon the other’s scheduled quality time with her. The
trio resides in the same castle, share their wealth, and fight battles side by
side.

This example is quite opposite of the Disney cartoons that most of us
were raised on: one man, one woman, happily ever after. However,
Polyamory, a term coined in 1990, means loving more than one. People
who choose to engage in Polyamory have multiple, intimate, and
consensual relationships with emphasis on honesty, communication and
emotional commitment. Most people who practice Polyamory begin from the premise
that one partner cannot meet all of their needs. A common
belief is that love is not a limited resource only reserved for one
person; rather, it is abundant and can be shared between more than one
partner.

Polyamory is not for everyone and definitely takes a lot of time and
attention. It is probably not a good idea to try Polyamory if: you are
dissatisfied with your current relationship, you think it will
“save” your relationship, it is the cool thing to do or for more
sex. Be honest with yourself: Can you imagine your partner being
sexually or emotionally involved with another person? Could you handle
it? How available are you? Are you an excellent communicator?
(Communication is even more of a necessity in that it involves more than
just one person!). Make a list of the benefits vs. challenges and
discuss them with your partner. Additionally, define your sexuality and
relationships on your own terms. I am not a big fan when it comes to
“labeling” people’s sexuality and their sexual behaviors.
The trouble with labels is that they can mean many different things to
many different people. For most, the beauty of Polyamory is that it
frees them from arbitrary lines and limits, so why construct new ones?

The Tantric Sex Worker

admin — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 07:31:44 +0000

For men who want to master the art of sex, Tantric coaches are escorts with a mission!
The majority of escorts are offering their bodies and their willingness for their bodies to be used to their clients.
Recently a new type of client has emerged in the West, a client who does not just want a female body to crave his sexual urge and often loneliness. Instead he is looking for an education – an education in mastering the art of sex.
Tantra is a word that is springing up a lot more these days. It is used most often in regards to sexual situations, however it is infact an entire lifestyle in the same way that Yoga is not just about stretching and exercising.
The philosophical guru Osho summed up the differences between Yoga and Tantra as “Yoga is suppression with awareness, and Tantra is indulgence with awareness”
Sting famously admitted to following a Tantric sexual path with his wife Trudi, and more recently Charlie Sheen refers to his 2 girlfriends as Goddesses – which is a Tantric term used to approach the female in the sexual union (females refer to their male partner as God in a session).
Whilst most people do not really understand it well, there is this enigma and envy that comes forth when talking about Tantra.
Slowly this trickle of awareness has grown into a genuine desire for many men across the world. The benefits for men include elongating sexual intercourse, separating orgasm from ejaculation, mastering the art of orgasm in their female partner and male multiple orgasms.
For women the benefits are also multiple orgasms, elongation and heightening of orgasms and for both parties Tantra fosters a union of energy to create a spiritual experience that heightens the sexual arousement and connection to their partner.

Whilst couples benefit enormously from exploring Tantra, the nature of the energy work allows experienced Tantra coaches to achieve a solid profound union sexually even with “souls” they have never met before. For escorts that have an interest and have been guided in the art of Tantra they are able to achieve a greater connection with their clients that benefits themselves as well as their clients.
This new sex industry field is ideal for the escort that genuinely enjoys sex and has an interest in developing their skills further.

Tantra is about indulgence and acceptance. There is no place in Tantra for shame, denial or withholding
.The idea behind Tantra is to transcend sex, which is another way of saying become celibate. Yet unlike the religions of Christianity, Islam and Judaism, celibacy is something that will naturally emerge after indulgence and decadent devouring of every form of sex has taken place.
Most religions ban sex or restrict it in one form another, whether its no sex allowed for priests, no sex out of marriage for followers, or no other sexual partners than the person you married.
Tantra adopts an entirely different philosophy, that of allowance and understanding.
Dotted throughout India are temples for Tantra. Incorporated into the outside walls of the temples are amazing statues depicting every sexual act you could possibly imagine (and many that are difficult to imagine!). The symbolism is that you cannot possibly enter your inner self (the temple) without first discovering, acknowledging and enjoying the body first.
Denial is not a route in. People who choose to deny their sexual urges rather than transform them will never reach enlightenment/God/Universal understanding in the eyes of the Tantrics.
Firstly do not deny any of your sexual fantasies, instead you work on accepting them as creations of the mind (and the ego) and letting them descend to the level of the body. It is this body level that must be healed before you can be free.

Respect for each partner is paramount. The terms God and Goddess are used, not as some ego centric play on power but as acknowledgment that God dwells inside each of us, and that in a sexual union the female is the archetypal Goddess and the male the archetypal God.
Despite the billions of other males and females in the world, inside that sexual union there exists only 1 of each.

As the Tantra session is about listening to the body first, much is made of the senses and how they can be used to heighten sexuality. Breathing is the core, and using the rhythm of the breath to dictate the tempo is a very effective tool for encouraging a build up of energy.
Touch, smell, taste and sound are also focused on individually as foreplay until maximum energy is reached.
Experienced Tantra coaches can guide the novice to feel the different levels of energy by bringing them back to awareness. The experienced coach can use this energy to elongate the entire session which not only achieves a more powerful orgasm, but also creates the environment for trying to separate ejaculation from orgasm. It is not easy to think of men being able to do this, but physically the processes are separate and do not have to occur in unison.
Many men would love to be able to achieve this technique, and with the right experienced and professional Tantra coach this can be achieved.

Unlike hiring traditional escorts for a one time release, Tantra takes a commitment of emotions and time. Usually a coach will require several sessions to achieve the desired outcome. The first meeting should be to determine the outcome desired by the client.
Often a sexual problem needs to be overcome first, and Tantra is one of the best practises to effectively and speedily rectify numerous dysfunctions including; premature ejaculation, loss of erection, failure to bring female to orgasm, lack of confidence and reliance on pornography.
Once the issues and outcome have been addressed, the Tantra Coach will be able to set up the sessions that will best serve the client. This can be one on one intimate sessions, intimate sessions with the clients partner, non-intimate sessions with the clients partner (whereby the Tantra coach verbally guides the couple), or less intimately by providing techniques in a counselling type session that the client can then use in his own space.

CleverKnicKers is an advocate of Tantra and we have several Tantra coaches who can work with clients to achieve a mastering of sexual practises as well as a spiritual oneness.

CleverKnicKers is arranging a series of workshops to teach escorts the art of Tantra throughout 2011. If you would like further details please email:

sj@CleverKnicKers.com

Want to find someone who works in the sex industry? Just ask 2 people you know….

admin — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 04:24:39 +0000

At CleverKnicKers we know there are more women in the sex industry than admit they are to their social groups (approx half the women we counsel and coach are anonymously working), so how many people removed are we from finding a woman who works for Sex inc?
The theory of 6 degrees of separation referred to the idea (made by Frigyes Karinthy) that anyone in the world was on average 6 people (steps) away from another person in the world.
So if I picked out a random name in any phone book I would find that person via 6 different people on average – like a chain of people leading to that one person I sought.
This theory was developed back in the 20’s and fast forward 80 years or so and Twitter reckons they have closed the gap to just 4.
At CleverKnicKers we know there are more women in the sex industry than admit they are to their social groups (approx half the women we counsel and coach are anonymously working), so how many people removed are we from finding a woman who works for Sex inc?
In an ideal world where everyone could be honest (and proud) about their extra vocations, we have asserted that there are only 2 degrees of separation if the person you wished to find was a female sex worker (stripper, escort, pole dancer etc).
For someone like Charlie Sheen it may seem feasible – infact he wouldn’t have to have any middle connectors, merely just rolling over in bed and whispering in the ear of his porn actress girlfriend.

What about more “unconnected” types….say the Queen of England?The cousin of Kate Middleton – future Mrs King of England – was revealed as a burlesque stripper in the news recently.So even the Queen of England herself would only need to ask just 1 person (her grand daughter-in-law) for the phone number of a sex worker.This makes the world a very small place, and highlights again (much to the squeals of delight from MySpace@TwitBook and the like) the importance of using social media to make access to your services as smooth and clear as possible.
At CleverKnicKers coaching we help women use social networking without jepordising their reputation or exposing their regular selves if they wish to remain anonymous. For those that are happy and proud to be working for the industry social media can be of extra effect.
Either way social media must be embraced if you are serious about reaching your goals working in the sex industry.

For more information on CleverKnicKers coaching and counselling, email :sj@CleverKnicKers.com

Skirting the issue – Why skirts are the sexiest clothes ever…

admin — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 22:36:33 +0000

This months Insight…….When is a skirt not a skirt?…..
Stilettos are “fuck me” shoes as lamented by feminists world wide. Bras also became a symbol of repressed sexuality and were subsequently burned or simply waved above the head in demonstration. No-one burned their skirt, no-one went “skirt-less”.
With the odd and sometimes sexy exceptions (I’m thinking kilts here) skirts remain the domain of women.
Men have moved into their long pants from sarongs and longans of the East, and with their legs astride and their penises completely in their own control (its tricky enough unzipping a fly, and nigh on impossible if the fly owner doesnt want you to!) there appears to be no reason or expression to move away from the trousers that dominate their wardrobe and unfortunately this world.

Skirts however have fallen under the radar. They never became a feminist symbol aka bras, they entangle more femaleness than sexuality unlike stilettos, and they invoke a variety of moods and concepts in a way that trousers will never be able to do; think floaty feminine, leather hooker, classmistress, fashion puffball etc
The type of skirt you wear can send out huge messages to your onlookers. Confidence is the only character that can carry off a short skirt and high heels, yet a short skirt and cowboy boots is more playful than in your face sexy.
Skirts speak their own language – as do trousers, and using this language to your advantage is a skill well worth aquiring.

As with all CKS insights, this article is for women who work directly or indirectly in the sex industry, as well as for any woman who wishes to learn more insights into sex, men and the arts of attraction, seduction, and sexual empowerment.
Trousers, pants, jeans, hipsters, skinnies, leggings, jodphurs..whatever form a trouser may take is an absolute NO NO in regards to the sex industry!
Yes some trousers are sexy, some trousers are incredibly sexy and they most definately have their place on women outside of the sex industry. Even those really sexy leather pants that make you look slimmer than Kate Moss and your butt more desirable than Beyonce (or maybe Kylie if thats more your shape).
Skirts = Female. The end! Men cannot wear skirts so it’s purely a female dominion, and in a female dominion females and femaleness rule!
By wearing a skirt you are subconsciously (and consciously) reminding every male out there that you are a female. In the transactions of sex and those based on sex (75% of all other transactions!) this subtle reminder is essential and will aid in your success as an escort, dancer, stripper, a glamour model or other relevant jobs.

When women wear sexy pants they have added another phrase to just “I am sexy”. “I wear the pants AND Im sexy”! This is challenging and intimidating to many men – perfect in so many other areas of your life and should definately be worked with when you need to exude those phrases. As a sex worker however you do not want a man to feel challenged, your perfect client will desire you and view you as the tempting Goddess that he needs. He will acknowledge your femaleness and thus his maleness in just one eyeful of a skirt hem!
Skirts are flirtatious and playful. Even the use of the word as in “skirting around the issue” implies being flirtatious and indirect. Skirts ARE playful and fun….and of course easy!
Slipping them on, slipping them off, hitched up around the waist or dropped to the floor…the access is there and this is the hidden subtlety of the sexual power of a skirt.
Hands can wander up them from any angle, eyes can become mesmerized by the sway of a hem line or the tightness of the fabric across the butt. Men will anticipate the length of the skirt once you sit down and will watch your hands smooth your skirt when you stand.
The cloak of the skirt is like a veil to an unknown bride…what does lie beneath?
Without a skirt, stocking and suspenders would lose their sexy status overnight! A flash of a stocking top can only be achieved if its skirt partner is co-operating.
Keep those really Hot sexy trousers for nights out with your friends, job interviews, mortgage or loan requests or any situation that requires you to exude a direct sexy no bullshit confidence.
For seduction and sex work NEVER ever ever ever put on a pair of trousers unless specifically requested to.
Even if its with a regular client, never fall into the easy view of thinking its okay as “he knows me very well by now” claim. Your success depends on knowing these details. Men love skirts. Men love taking your skirt off, putting their hands up your skirt, thinking about you in a skirt, hitching your skirt up, wondering what you are wearing under your skirt and on and on and on.
Of course dresses too are a feminine and sexy option but they lose points for being less versatile.
Sashaying out of your skirt can be done in a graceful and fluid action, yet dresses often require more thought.
This seasons skirts are very short, but as we know at CKS some skirts never go out of the sexy fashion list!

Wii love We Dare

admin — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 13:57:39 +0000

Any product that can make the world a sexually less inhibited place gets our CleverKnicKers vote, and with Wii’s new game We Dare we give it a big thumbs up in the right direction.
With the white plastic Wii control resembling a crude vibrator its nice to see the marketing campaign featuring this as a penis as 2 women share the pleasure of it rubbing up and down their faces. Reading the reveiws this new game has certainly got the USA’s knickers in a twist. I’m sure the politicians and preachers will be lamenting the destruction of family values, chasity, virtuousness and everything else (inbetween the odd blow job from college and intern boys and girls!) However as a game it’s great to burst into the young couples market. Looking at the advert and you can just imagine the cast of Friends sexxing it up with each other around the Wii screen. CleverKnicKers gives this game a thumbs up for bringing some light hearted sexual fun to the computer game world, however we would give it a big rowdy WHOPPPEEE if it would just dare to go a bit further into the real sexual desires of people, not just the light hanky panky titillation. Dare we ask for some nakedness, orgasms, sexual position suggestions and perfections! How about We Dare to be Bisexual? Now if they can just get the Wii handset to vibrate and rotate………hmmmmmm

CleverKnicKers.com is Live!

SJ — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 08:26:15 +0000

After years of talking, planning, counseling and coaching, at last the idea of a CKS website has finally arrived into reality for 2011! Sure there are still bits to add and wrinkles to iron out, but CKS is a dynamic product not a static flat book. Like everyone’s lives CKS is a work in progress and will never be “done” so to speak. Also it provides the perfect opportunity for you readers to contact and contribute with your own views and points.
We are looking for women who work in the sex industry. These include escorts, table-dancers, strippers, porn actresses, glamour models, phone sex workers, prostitutes, happy-end masseuse, hostesses and anyone working behind the scenes too.
Would you like to feature your blog here? Or start one (anonymously if you wish) for the first time? Are you available to interview or to feature here?
Knowledge dispells fear and and manipulation. That is one of the goals of CleverKnicKers, and to achieve that we need your help, your input, your stories and your voice.

Over the next few weeks you will see our Boutique open, our counseling service expand, legal and accounting services provided as well as recruitment opportunities within the industries and brave new video clips. Keep visiting, keep suggesting and keep Empowered.

Email sj@cleverKnicKers.com

Make your sex toys work for you! Just like UK Escort ‘Katy’ did

admin — Sun, 20 Feb 2011 04:13:16 +0000

So many escorts that we speak to confess to not really paying much attention to sex toys. Many of you have the obligatory vibrator – usually the Rabbit, some handcuffs and a blindfold plus a lube or massage oil of some kind.
Part of our coaching program includes getting the right equipment and using it to maximise your service.
Katy is an escort in the Sussex area. We asked her to write her own experience going from quite a poor set of toys to an inspired Tool Kit that has made her job so much more successful and fun!
I have been a Escort Actor for 2 and a half years. I used to call myself an escort, but after going through the CKS coaching program I realised I’m just acting at being an escort, its just a role I am playing for a short time. I know its only a label but the feeling I got when I noticed this was amazing. I totally re-invented myself – name, wig, personality to play etc. Anyway thats not what this is about, but it is relevant to the sex toys too in a way.
I became an escort because I knew I could make money. I am slim, busty, young hot body and at age 23 I had no direction…and no money! I kept looking at the ads in the free papers, and of course the romantic sexy image that the media gives and one day I gave an agency a call and they made a booking for me that night. I went along and earned £100 for 1 hours work. It was easy, I didnt have fun but I didn’t feel bad about myself either, and it took me nearly 3 days of working in the travel agents where I worked at the time to pocket £100 after taxes and contributions.
I spent 8 months working as an escort until I discovered the CKS coaching programme.  Now when I look back I almost cringe with how naive and really quite a bad lay I was! Yet at the time I thought I was wonderful just because I was hot and young – I felt like they (my clients) should just be grateful to have me in bed with them.
I had 8 regular clients and the rest were first timers for me. Most sessions were for 1 hour and I liked it that way as I used to clock watch a lot.  During my coaching program I realised I was using my time completely wrong, and one of the things that could help me would be sex toys.  I owned a vibrator – a bright green ugly spongy thing that a girlfriend had bought me for my 21st. I had a couple of requests to bring it along but it was never fun and more of just an idea. At this point my tool kit didn’t really exist. I remember confessing to SJ (CKS coach) that I didn’t even have a stash of condoms – I simply bought them on the way to each job.  “You can’t reach your goals through this job if you deny that this job exists” were her words for me.  After discussing through all my habits I have with my clients, SJ says “you need to start using sex toys and having fun”. At first I thought she had missed my points, but now over 1 year on since that programme I’m amazed at how far I have come (towards my goals) and I owe a lot to the sex technology in sex toys.

I had always used my winning smile , sense of humour and good listening skills to get me through the first 20 mins of each session. I thought I was clever and this was a skill that would get me through. However looking at how many clients I had and how many clients became regular I could see (when pointed out to me!) that I was fooling myself. What I was doing was getting myself out of the moment, and sure, in the moment the client was happy to chat and cuddle, but after the session he would be able to work out how much time we chatted away and would feel any number of non-positive things.  If an empowered CKS escort were to then visit him, making physical contact instantly, never looking at the clock or fumbling for conversation topics that are not sex related – well I would never get called back again.
My routine used to be 20 mins of chit chat and undressing, stroking cuddling. A quickish conversation starting with “so what do you like sexually?” and then more often than not I would give him oral, maybe he would give me oral then we would have sex for around 15-20 mins until orgasm, then bye bye how wonderful that was. (Again I am cringing at the lameness of it all now!)
Fast forward 4 months since my coaching and…WOW I feel like a Sex Goddess and Im having more fun than ever in my session. My rates have almost tripled (£280 per hour) and 80% of my clients are regulars.!

So where do sex toys fit into this growth?  I purchased some sex toys that CKS recommended along with the guides of how best to use them as an escort. I practised alot with them so that I wouldn’t fumble and be unsure in front of my client.
Sex now starts immediately, we still chit chat but that happens whilst I am doing something very sexually stimulating to him so that he relaxes and enjoys it all even more.  Lube is my favourite friend! Also the vibrating cock ring is an amazing invention. I place this over his cock and simply lick and flick the tip then use my hand whilst we have our chit chats
SJ explained to me that very invasive and physically challenging acts such as deep throat should be “managed” or else you will start to get jaw ache as well as boredom, and over time physical wear and tear will take its toll on my body.  I used to rely on my deep throat technique to ramp up the sexual energy if things were not going fast enough, now I am much more paced and steady which allows the client to have a longer approach to orgasm and subsequently a more satisfying ejaculation.
There are some wonderful feminine vibrators – not penis shaped. I have one called the Oui and it is like a smooth slim seashell in a semi cirlce shape. It fits under the folds of my vagina lips and gently vibrates. I use this to turn myself on usually whilst I am giving oral, it ensure my pussy is extremely ready before sex occurs, plus many of my clients are intrgued and turned on by this also.
Each of my toys has a routine to it, like a series of games for each item. This is my new timekeeper. I know what will take 7 minutes and what will take 4 and I can manage the whole hours session in this way.  I now keep up-to-date with the latest toys, but like SJ taught me, many sex toys were not designed for sex but make the best ones! I’ll leave that for her to tell you about…

Katy’s Tool Kit

Vibrators – 3 sizes….

Large Rabbit, technically the least pleasurable but so common its rude not to have one!
Small slim plastic, Great to use across his balls or even nipples. Also slim and firm enough for anal.
Interchangebale heads. A small rubber vibrator with different rubber fittings such as spiky, rippled etc – great for sex games
Stick on vibrators – small sticky vibrating badges I stick to the inside of my thighs for exra buzz during missionary
Lube – I use Pjur Light which is a great non greasy and light gel which can be used for massage and lubricant. It has no taste and no smell

A vibrating cock ring with detachable vibrator.

Mens ties – for blindfolds, handcuffs, leashes, light whips and ropes.
Condoms - dont use flavoured ones, they are stickier than the rest and ones like strawberry can give a red tinge which can freak you out in the shower afterwards and you think you are bleeding! Find a brand and type you like and stick with it. I like Durex Featherlite.

Face flannels – run under very hot or very cold water after his orgasm, then use to wipe his cock after removing the condom. Many men are still in a semi-erection post orgasmic relaxation state and this tip is a welcome boost.

non-scented baby wipes – for a variety of discreet easy clean-ups, especially for vibrator use.

candles and lighter – set the mood and make it special

Carrier bag for trash – Discretion is a huge part of your obligation!

All in a tidy small holdall type bag with lots of compartments. Keep organised, it saves heaps of time and helps you feel in control.

For CleverKnickers LifeCoaching programmes, email:sj@cleverknickers.com

Types Female Orgasm

admin — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 16:34:51 +0000

One of the biggest misconceptions people have about female orgasms is that they are all created equal. The truth is that not all orgasms are the same: they may all be equally pleasurable but they are generally arrived at through different means.
Basically, there are two types of female orgasms: vaginal and clitoral. In this chapter, we’re going to briefly discuss both types. This will provide you with some background that you’ll need when we can begin experimenting with orgasm-producing techniques a little later in the article.

Vaginal Orgasm

As you’ll recall from the first chapter, this type of orgasm was the only type Freud and other men of his time felt to be legitimate types of sexual pleasure for women to experience. Unfortunately for women, only about 20% can receive an orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone. The other 80% need something a little extra.

Before we get into that, let me explain exactly what we mean by vaginal orgasm. A vaginal orgasm occurs solely because of stimulation of the vagina. That stimulation is usually in the form of the thrusting of the male penis during vaginal intercourse.

The reason most women do not receive an orgasm just from penetration is that the vagina is not a highly sensitive area. This is actually a good thing. Remember that the vagina is not just used for sex but also for delivering babies. If the inside walls of the vagina were made up of concentrated nerve endings like we find in the nipple, the clitoris, or the penis, then childbirth would be even more difficult for women.

In fact, only the first two inches of the vagina are sensitive at all. So why do some women have orgasms solely from vaginal stimulation? The answer is they probably aren’t. Women who report vaginal orgasms benefit from their anatomy. In some women, the labia minora are formed in such a way that vaginal penetration actually causes the labia to rub against or gently pull on the clitoris. This, not vaginal stimulation, is leading to the orgasm in most cases. Technically, however, this would still be considered a vaginal orgasm because there is not direct stimulation of the clitoris.

Another reason why some women report having vaginal orgasms is that the shape of the penis and their preferred position allow for stimulation of the G-spot. Because the G-spot is linked to increased pleasure and may also induce orgasms, this is another possibility worth considering.

The bottom line here though is that vaginal orgasms are not common. Men and women need to realize that penetration is often not going to be enough to accomplish the goal. The good news is that gives both partners an excuse to experiment with some new things, including some we’ll discuss later in the book.

Clitoral Orgasm

By far the most common way for a woman to regularly reach orgasm is through direct or indirect clitoral stimulation. Before we just into that subject, I think it may help to share with you some information about the clitoris.

The clitoris is located just by the vaginal entrance and behind the labia minora. In most women, it is a small nub of flesh which contains a high concentration of nerve endings which make it highly sensitive. It is often covered by a clitoral hood. Many people don’t realize that only a small portion of the clitoris is actually visible. The remainder of the organ is surrounded by the rest of the reproductive system and extends all the way to the bottom of the pubic bone.

Two things are particularly interesting about the clitoris. First, all female mammals have a clitoris. This is interesting because the sole purpose, at least according to biologists, of the clitoris is sexual pleasure. That would seem to mean that humans aren’t the only ones who enjoy the way sex feels.

Second, the clitoris is made from the same material as the penis. In fact, in men the clitoris becomes a full-fledged penis after the embryo is exposed to testosterone in the womb. Just like the penis, the clitoris fills with blood and becomes erect during sexual arousal. The clitoral hood is essentially the same as the foreskin of a penis.

The only real difference between a clitoris and a penis � besides location in the body � seems to be that the penis is also used for urination while the clitoris is not.

With that said, its important to realize that the clitoris is really similar in size to the penis, even though most of it cannot be seen. Vibrations through the pelvic region caused by intercourse could stimulate the nerve endings in the unseen part of the clitoris as well and this can also cause orgasms.

What many people don’t realize about the clitoris is that the penis alone usually cannot stimulate it. Because of its position in the woman’s body, the ability of the penis to provide rhythmic stimulation to the clitoris is extremely difficult. That means traditional intercourse usually needs to be coupled with clitoral stimulation.

The question is how does one engage in clitoral stimulation. Some male partners take the approach that the women should be responsible for the stimulation themselves, which has always seemed a bit unfair to me since the woman is providing him with the stimulation he needs to reach orgasm. However, this is one way to deal with it.

Another method is by, what I like to call multi-tasking. Multi-tasking basically means the man does more than one thing at the same time. For example, he may be penetrating the vagina while also stimulating the clitoris in one way or another (we’ll discuss those ways a little later). If the couple wants to achieve orgasm at or near the same time, this is clearly the best option.

Other couples I’ve met with have resorted to an alternative approach. One person reaches orgasm at a time. Depending on how each person best reaches orgasm, this may be a possibility but it’s usually not the most satisfactory approach.

The best thing about clitoral orgasms is that they can be achieved in many different ways. Because the entire area is highly sensitive, experimenting with these types of orgasms can also add some interest and spice to sexual relationships which may have become less enthusiastic over time.

And the key is experimenting because different women prefer different types of clitoral stimulation. While some prefer direct stimulation, others find it uncomfortable and prefer to have the area around the clitoris stimulated instead. Women who have masturbated will generally have a much better idea of what type of stimulation they prefer than women who have not.

Before we close this chapter, let’s talk about what happens during a clitoral orgasm. As I mentioned above, the clitoris feels up with blood and becomes erect like a penis. This means its usually easier to spot when a woman is aroused. Because the clitoris does not need to be erect for sexual intercourse to occur, clitoral orgasms will only happen if the woman is aroused properly. That means some type of foreplay is generally a requirement. When the clitoris is stimulate repeatedly, it becomes more engorged with blood and this further heightens its sensitivity. With another stimulation a point is reached when all of the tension in the area must be released and this point is considered the orgasm.

Sauna sex in the city

admin — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 16:01:04 +0000

A SEX worker told last night how her job in a seedy sauna is allowing her to bring up her family — without putting her LIFE in danger. The 28-year-old revealed she’s put food on the table for her twin girls by catering for clients in an Edinburgh massage parlour. She said her services are offered to the men in a protected environment — instead of being at risk on the streets.
Her claims on the capital’s sleazy trade come as a top sheriff was forced to quit this week after being exposed as a regular visitor to a sex-for-sale sauna.
Edinburgh was the first city in the UK to effectively decriminalise brothels when it gave them and massage parlours entertainment licences in 1982.

Priority

The vice trade employes around 1,000 sex workers across 20 licensed saunas in the capital. The girls can make around £100 a day.

The worker said: “I’ve been working in the same sauna for four years. I was a part-time student when I started and was struggling to support my kids. I was working in a bookies but it just wasn’t enough.

“I saw an ad on a website and saw it as a way to make easy cash. I knew what was involved but it wasn’t an issue as my priority was putting food on the table.

“The job paid a lot more money than I’d ever earned before.

“The first punter I had was only in for five minutes and I found it a pretty harmless experience. You get a lot of people asking to have unprotected sex and offering to pay extra but I would never do this, it’s just stupid.” The mum said she gets clients from all walks of life — and she’s never felt at risk.